Overdependent cats - the human-cat bond

Why is the bond so strong and what goes wrong when cats become over-dependent or under-attached?

We all know someone who we think is slightly 'over-the-top' in the way they behave towards their cat (not counting ourselves of course!) but it is usually harmless fun that gives pleasure to both the cat and the owner. However, occasionally these relationships can cause problems, particularly when either the cat or the human or both become 'over-attached'. Over-attachment could be defined as 'having an emotional bond with a pet that is so intense that it is detrimental to the physical and psychological wellbeing of either the human or the animal'.

These are mainly 'behind closed doors relationships' that many of us will never fully appreciate or understand. Veterinary practices may see the aftermath of over-attachment problems when the animal dies or is euthanased and the owner is unable to cope. Some people exhibit extreme emotion and tend not to progress through the stages of grieving in the usual way which leads to acceptance of the loss. The over-attachment may itself have been a result of an unresolved emotional trauma in the owner's life. These relationships are sometimes not about the cat at all.

My job as a cat behaviour counsellor means I see a lot of cases on referral from vets in the South East of England. The bulk of my work involves indoor urination/defecation, urine spraying, aggression etc, and only about 10 per cent of cases relate to behavioural problems caused by over-attachment. The most common presentation is unusual cat/owner responses on both sides. For example, a slightly incompetent and nervous cat goes to live with a caring, solicitous, emotional owner - the result can be learned helplessness in the cat and over-attachment. The other scenario tends to be highly intelligent, sensitive cat (eg, Siamese, Burmese) meets caring, solicitous, emotional owner resulting in undesirable attention-seeking behaviours and over-attachment.

Is there a particular type of person that finds themselves in this predicament? In my caseload of over-attachment problems there are elements that these cases have in common. Of course all of us will recognise something of ourselves in some of the categories and that is only to be expected. However over-attachment problems occur when many of the elements occur together.

Owners are women.
Owners live alone or with a partner or companion with whom they spend little time.
Owners have been or are on Prozac or similar psychotropic drug or have been treated for a psychological problem, or experienced a bereavement or divorce.
Owners are anthropomorphic about their cats (refer to their cats as if human). Many conducted the consultation by talking to the cat rather than make eye contact with me.
Owners didn't go on holiday or visit friends or family overnight because they didn't want to leave their cat.
Cats are kept exclusively indoors or allowed restricted access to outdoors under supervision for reasons of 'safety' owners worry that their cat would be exposed to unacceptable dangers if he or she were to go outside.
Many referred to themselves as being perfectionists, eager to please and desperate to do the right thing.
Lives often revolved around the daily requirements of their cat. If working, owners made incredible provisions for the wellbeing of their pet during their absence and they couldn't wait to return home.

This information is volunteered to me. It may or may not be relevant. However, knowing the intensity of emotional dependence is vital if a behaviourist needs to tell a person that she needs to change her relationship with her beloved cat. Often on initial discussion where a bonding problem is suspected, owners will be asked to keep a diary of interactions and of the problem for a couple of weeks before the appointment. This can be very helpful in highlighting the issues.

One lady left the heating on all night in case the cat got cold and stayed awake for most of it because it was too hot to sleep.
One lady placed seven bowls of food down every day with different varieties in case the cat wasn't in the mood for one particular variety on that particular day.
Many of these owners kept their cats in 24 hours a day for fear of some harm coming to them, even though they desperately wanted to go out.
One lady got up at 3 am to cook fish because that was when the cat asked for it.
One lady put an Elizabethan collar on her cat permanently and kept it in a tiny 10 foot x10 foot room because it had scratched its ear 18 months previously and she was concerned that it might hurt itself if it got out of the room or out of its Elizabethan collar and started scratching again.

Many such people are in desperate need of something to care for and something to love and they all have different life experiences and different genes that have made them all very unique individuals. To an extent we all have some similar, but perhaps not so extreme, elements such as these in our own relationships with other people or pets. A behaviourist is not there to judge but to try and help.

Here are a few examples of the sort of case I see and the techniques used to resolve the problem that the over-attachment or under- attachment has caused. Written down, the programmes themselves look relatively simple. However, the most challenging aspect is to get people to listen to you and trust you enough to change the way they behave towards their beloved pets. The cases can be very time-consuming because owners may need a great deal of emotional support after the consultation to fulfil the programme that is put in place.

It is not uncommon for cats to manipulate interaction with their owners by using various attention-seeking methods. Although usually seen as a territorial or anxiety-related behaviour, spraying urine is an extremely effective way of getting attention! This is seen mainly in Siamese, Burmese and other highly intelligent and sensitive Oriental breeds. Such as case was Chichester, a four-year-old male neutered Oriental.

Chichester lived with three other cats and his owner, Lucy. He had a cat flap to allow access to outdoors but this was shut at night and when Lucy wasn't in `for safety reasons'. Lucy also fed a stray in the garden. Chichester had virtually nothing to do with the other cats in the household which were less reactive and more independent; they just tolerated each other without being particularly sociable.

Chichester was fed a wide variety of proprietary sachet foods and Iams dried complete cat food and M&S chicken breasts cooked every day. He had an unremarkable medical history. He was Lucy's favourite cat, since she felt he needed her more than the others did. He slept in the bed with her every night.

Approximately 18 months previously, Chichester had started spraying urine indoors and this behaviour progressed until he sprayed all over the house and usually in front of Lucy. She felt it corresponded with him wanting attention from her. He had also developed a fussy appetite.

The combination of a very loving, over-protective owner and an intelligent highly sociable and manipulative cat had created an intense relationship. Chichester constantly approached Lucy for all his interaction and stimulation. His requirements for attention had increased since she had shut the cat flap and deprived him of other activities.

The stray cat had come into the house through the cat flap and it is likely that Chichester started spraying in response to that. However, his behaviour had then taken a sinister twist when he learnt that Lucy's response to his spraying was attention. He had also learned that his frustration was diffused when he sprayed, so if Lucy was talking to someone and her response was not immediate, a quick spray of urine would solve both the attention-seeking and the frustration.

Lucy had to try and control her concern for Chichester and understand that while he continued to be constantly focusing on her, it was just as disruptive and stressful for him as it was for her.

She was asked to stop feeding the stray cat as any further contact could lead to an acceleration of Chichester 's problem. A magnetically controlled cat flap would prevent other cats coming in again. Chichester's spraying was more evident when the flap was shut at night or during the day, so we discussed leaving the flap open. Lucy always used to leave the flap open but he had got into someone's car one day through an open window and the driver had driven off before realising he was there. It was suggested that, if she was worried, she put a mailshot through her neighbours' doors to ask them to check their cars. This seemed to satisfy her sufficiently to follow this instruction.

Lucy was to feed all the cats twice daily and leave biscuits down all the time for ad lib feeding. There was a lot of food wasted in the household because she offered such a variety. A strict feeding plan listing actual quantities for all the cats was put into action.

Lucy was asked to ignore Chichester if he sprayed urine or was overly demanding. All interaction in future would be on her instigation rather than his. When he was quiet and good, she was asked to reward with love and praise. She was warned about the frustration factor when Chichester didn't get what he wanted initially, he would try harder. Asking over-attached owners to ignore their pets is the most difficult task they will probably ever perform. There has to be no eye contact, no verbal communication and a closed body language that is unfamiliar to the cat so that the signal is clear and can be understood. Friends were to come round as regularly as possible and play with Chichester using a fishing rod toy. A cleaning regime for sprayed areas was advised; a surgical spirit wipe down and Feliway (a synthetic version of feline facial pheromones) sprayed over the site.

Opening the cat flap had a profound effect on Chichester. There was so much to see and do outside that his approaches to Lucy reduced instantly. Although he was always around when she came home, neighbours reported that he had been out and about during the day. He was remarkably quick at realising that Lucy meant business with her withdrawal of attention. The key to the success of the programme was consistency in Lucy's non-reward of Chichester's behaviour. The occasional weakening and gesture towards him would have made it difficult to extinguish the behaviour since it would have represented a very tempting regime of intermittent reinforcement - gamblers will tell you how addictive random reward can be! Lucy started to go to Chichester when she wanted affection and not vice versa, she socialised more with her friends because she was not afraid of leaving him at home and she even developed better relationships with her other cats.

Under-attachment can also be a problem for some people, but it is a very subjective issue since one man's under-attached cat is another man's normal independent moggy. One case that was actually referred for an aggression problem illustrates this point.

George was a two-year-old male neutered British Shorthair. He lived with his owners and two teenage children in a large two storey house. George had access to outdoors but would only go out if the family were out or it was warm. He had a good appetite and was fed Iams dry cat food and Whiskas tinned food four times a day. He loved to play with fur mice and the children threw these around the house for him. He was very unsociable with people and withdrew from any physical contact. He was wary of strangers and jumped at sudden non-verbal noises.

Ever since he was a kitten he had attacked people's feet, usually after playing with one of his fur mice. When he was young it was considered amusing, in fact the family were thrilled that the cat showed some interest in them and actively encouraged it. The pattern continued but his bites and scratches became painful as he got older and stronger. They had eventually stopped playing with him completely.

George was very unsociable in character but he also lacked confidence which prevented him from filling his day with lots of challenging activities. When he did play a game he got over-excited and hurt people. This had become a learned behaviour as a result of the family rewarding it so much when he was a kitten. The family felt that George wasn't a member of the family and frankly they couldn't see what purpose there was in his being there and this was the main problem. He didn't interact with them at all now since they had stopped playing with him. The goal was for the family to get pleasure from him and vice versa in a positive non-harmful way.

The first change was George's feeding regime the idea was to make him work a bit harder for his food. The majority of his dry food was placed in various locations throughout the conservatory; quite obvious places at first so that he got the hang of it, and then in more hidden spots. The teenage children were enlisted to build a cardboard assault course with lots of hiding places for food and catnip. They re-assembled his old activity centre that they had stopped using when George was about six-months-old and added bits on to give him a high vantage point to watch the birds outside on the bird table.

The games he so enjoyed would now take place on the end of a long bamboo cane so that the owners were remote from the game and their feet were so far away that they were no longer a target. George was fascinated by running water so they installed an indoor fountain in the conservatory which he loved.

As he became more and more enthusiastic about life in general and all the new activities, George's confidence increased. After about three weeks, as instructed, his owners left the conservatory door open one day very casually and allowed him to make his mind up whether or not he went out. He did, tentatively at first and at his own pace with no intervention from his owners.

George improved enormously and the aggression disappeared overnight. The family felt more affectionate towards him because he appeared lively and relaxed in their presence. George was not being subjected to human contact against his will but discovering for himself how rewarding interaction with humans could be. It was just a matter of time before he explored the possibilities of direct tactile contact.

The next case relates to a cat called BF, a sad example of overattachment/bonding problems on the part of the cat and not the owner and an illustration that not all cases have a happy ending.

BF was a one-year-old domestic shorthair castrated male. He was taken in by the Cats Protection at 10-weeks-old along with a litter mate. At the age of five months he was rehomed with another kitten one month older to a couple who were out at work during the day. All was well until, at the age of nine months, he went missing for a week. When he returned he started to defecate when he greeted his owners in the evening. The owners returned him to the Cats Protection. He then lived at a Cats Protection foster home with the lady who socialised him originally and he spent his time partly outside in a cat pen and partly in the family home.

BF paced and vocalised continuously in his pen or when he was not with his owner and he defecated when he saw her, even on her feet. The faeces appeared to be voided without conscious control (no loose motions) and the act was proceeded by vigorous rubbing around the owner's legs. When he was close to her he hyperventilated and appeared over-excited. He even used to try and climb up her clothing to place his head inside her mouth! He never stopped actively seeking her company and he never appeared still or relaxed. His attentions were definitely focused on this one person.

BF was suffering from a severe bonding disorder. Unfortunately it is not clear what his motivation was for this behaviour. It may have been frustration and fearful insecurity or a bizarre form of attention-seeking behaviour which had received inadvertent reinforcement from the owner. It may also have been a clinical problem, eg, a neurochemical excess or insufficiency.

His vet put him on clomipramine hydrochloride (licensed for use in dogs as Clomicalm to treat anxiety-related problems) at 0.5mg/kg bodyweight with no obvious effect. An increase to 1mg/kg coincided or caused an increase in the intensity of the symptoms.

A programme of other people interacting with him together with stimulation and interesting feeding opportunities (he had a big appetite) resulted in his starving himself for two days rather than exploring the possibility of obtaining his food in a novel way.

The next plan was to try and introduce a diet high in B6 and tryptophan, an amino acid that converts to serotonin, (a mood stabilising neurotransmitter) to try to reduce his reactivity by dietary means.

We discussed a programme of clear signals of response should BF make a low arousal approach to his owner and a method of displaying non-reward for the high arousal approaches accompanied by defecation. A full haematology, serum biochemistry, thyroid function and neurological examination were planned to rule out a clinical cause.

We were too late. The owner had had enough and requested euthanasia. This is a sad but important point about dealing with bond-related issues. The success of any programme to resolve the problem is dependent on the owner being emotionally able to comply with it. This particular over-attachment problem put an enormous strain on this very sensible and experienced cat owner and sometimes the outcome is not satisfactory for just this reason.

Anyone who works with cats and their owners, whether in a boarding cattery, rescue centre or in veterinary practice, should be aware of the potential intensity of the human/cat bond. If anyone gets involved in helping owners with relationship problems with their cats it can be fascinating and rewarding. However always remember that not all of these problems can be resolved, sometimes these bonds are stronger than we are!